I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
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In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
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Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
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