Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
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