you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
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