so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
Randomize