Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
He felt like a one man threesome
drinking out of a sandbucket again
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
I can't turn off my feet"
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
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