He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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