i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
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Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
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it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
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