she looked like the bat from fern gully.
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
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Operation Purity has been aborted
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
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This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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