fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
Just pee around me
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
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