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Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
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