dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
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