I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
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