White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
hell yes lets make some ravioli
Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
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