I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
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Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
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