Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
Ladies don't puke and tell
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize