wrigley field is MILF paradise
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
Randomize