I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
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