I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
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