Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
time to smoke my breakfast
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
I need water and some morals
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Randomize