my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize