So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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