they need to just BURY HIM!
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
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Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
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The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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