Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
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