fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
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i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
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But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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