I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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