Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Randomize