My lawyer watched my DUI video. Said of the thousand or so he's seen, mine was one of the top ten best.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
How's work?
Spinning.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize