I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
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