I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
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