I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
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