so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
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We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
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Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
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