i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
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