I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
Sorry my hands just texted you
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
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