Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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