Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
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