And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
I didn't notice because vodka
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
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Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
I know her cup size but not her name....
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
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