i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
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