forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
Is Oprah even human
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize