Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
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