I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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