wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
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