I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
Randomize