took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
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