got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
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I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
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