I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
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