Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
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