fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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