Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
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