When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize