I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
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He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
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He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize